I am not the next poet laureate of Santa Fe–I recently received a cordial letter from the Arts Commission to that effect. So congratulations to whoever will be next–it should be announced soon. And thanks to my friends and supporters who nominated me and sent additional letters.
But the point of this post is not to examine public failure and success. Let me just say this is at least the third time I’ve been turned down for the position–so no surprise. I’m in that always a bridesmaid never a bride position. Throughout my professional life I’ve had many spectacular failures, as well as quite a bit of success, They are inextricably woven together.
The real question is–why do I owe my husband Rich 10 restaurant dinners?
Well, when the laureateship came round again he made it pretty clear he was tired of all the whining and complaining that were part of my process. “If you even accept a nomination,” he said, “you owe me ten dinners out.” I’d said I’d never apply again, then reneged. So –dinner.
I love to eat out. Rich is more committed to leftovers, home cooking, and saving money. So this agreement was no hardship for me–we get to eat out and I enjoy treating.
“Is this because of ALL the whining and complaining?” I asked, “not just about poet laureate but about my whole career, the gigs, all of it?”
“Yes,” Rich said.
As creative types go, I don’t think I’m that hard to live with. I pay the bills, water the garden, and do not act as if ordinary life is beneath my concern. However, I am prone to sometimes imagining that the world owes me a living–or something…at least the next gig I want. Which may turn out to be far-away, inconvenient, and volunteer. Which I will be insulted if I do not get and whining about if I do…you get the picture.
So, we’ve had a nice if slightly eccentric meal at Love Apple in Taos, always dependable fare at our neighborhood La Choza, and enjoyed Jinja and Harry’s.
I probably won’t stop complaining–but at least I’ll be complaining over some lovely meals.
July 3, 2012 at 5:23 pm
Yeah. Mostly nobody talks about the amount of whining that seems to be a part of the (and I cringe as I use the phrase) artist’s life. But it’s so true. I suppose it’s ultimately the conversation/grumble we have with ourselves about whether to keep thumping ourselves against The Gates…and those who live with us perform a righteous Service to the Arts by listening and not duct-taping our mouths while we sleep. I think the 10 dinners were a charmingly and miriam-ishly concrete response to the situation.
July 3, 2012 at 5:23 pm
Mimsy ~ never say never. So proud of you that you have consistently thrown your hat into the ring. Good for you. In the meantime, enjoy those wonderful southwest meals out. I have always been in awe of what you HAVE created in your life. All my love.
Mitch
July 3, 2012 at 7:37 pm
Santa Fe blew a great opportunity, but I don’t think it diminishes from all that you do for Santa Fe.
July 4, 2012 at 2:23 am
I am actually quite surprised; I thought it would be you. And I definitely think it SHOULD be you, if not this time, then next. I hope you will go for it until it happens, because you are a fantastic community-oriented poet, and an inspiration to us all!