I am not the next poet laureate of Santa Fe–I recently received a cordial letter from the Arts Commission to that effect. So congratulations to whoever will be next–it should be announced soon. And thanks to my friends and supporters who nominated me and sent additional letters.
But the point of this post is not to examine public failure and success. Let me just say this is at least the third time I’ve been turned down for the position–so no surprise. I’m in that always a bridesmaid never a bride position. Throughout my professional life I’ve had many spectacular failures, as well as quite a bit of success, They are inextricably woven together.
The real question is–why do I owe my husband Rich 10 restaurant dinners?
Well, when the laureateship came round again he made it pretty clear he was tired of all the whining and complaining that were part of my process. “If you even accept a nomination,” he said, “you owe me ten dinners out.” I’d said I’d never apply again, then reneged. So –dinner.
I love to eat out. Rich is more committed to leftovers, home cooking, and saving money. So this agreement was no hardship for me–we get to eat out and I enjoy treating.
“Is this because of ALL the whining and complaining?” I asked, “not just about poet laureate but about my whole career, the gigs, all of it?”
“Yes,” Rich said.
As creative types go, I don’t think I’m that hard to live with. I pay the bills, water the garden, and do not act as if ordinary life is beneath my concern. However, I am prone to sometimes imagining that the world owes me a living–or something…at least the next gig I want. Which may turn out to be far-away, inconvenient, and volunteer. Which I will be insulted if I do not get and whining about if I do…you get the picture.
So, we’ve had a nice if slightly eccentric meal at Love Apple in Taos, always dependable fare at our neighborhood La Choza, and enjoyed Jinja and Harry’s.
I probably won’t stop complaining–but at least I’ll be complaining over some lovely meals.