Bubbe Report–Someone is Tearing Out My Hair

Strands of white litter odd corners. And that is because I am a bad indulgent grandmother. Grainne likes to pull my hair and play with my earrings. I’m afraid I’ve encouraged her by acting fake frightened, shrieking “help help!” and otherwise encouraging her to think this is a game.
She does hear “no” from me, particularly around her deep love for wires and outlets.”No,” I say, “not for babies.” She looks sad, but doesn’t cry. And she stops, if temporarily.
I have to indulge her. After all, in Zen Buddhism we speak of “grandmother’s mind” as the kindest most warm-hearted approach to anything. As to “no”–well, what are parents for?
When Isabel, G.’s mom, was little I didn’t meet her every need instantly. I was responsive, but often she had to wait and fuss. This was probably a useful life skill but that wasn’t my motivation. Sometimes I was just occupied–dinner was about to burn or someone was offering me work on the phone.
But now I’m a grandmother. I feel G. should have some hours a week where she gets everything she wants. Recently she patted me very approvingly after I’d run about figuring out her desires. I don’t believe this “spoils” a baby but I don’t want to create ridiculous expectations. So I encourage her to “help”–put her arm in the sleeve, put things back in the box. She’s 11 months old, so that barely works. But it feels collaborative.
Soon she’ll be able to talk, and if she asks to go for ice cream, the answer will be yes. The world teaches us no more than enough.

4 thoughts on “Bubbe Report–Someone is Tearing Out My Hair

  1. Glad you’ve got each other- bubble and Grainne will share their own rules. And memories. And stories. Even mistakes. Now that my two are 20+ we love laughing together about Yai-Ya stories, As I am in town to my granddaughters. And still saying “Yes” and loving it. Sharing Valentines weekend with the youngest and her beau💕

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