Does Donald Trump Have a Birthmark Where the Sun Don’t Shine?
By Conchita De Luto
I don’t know about you, but for the lasts four years, I have been wondering how Donald Trump has gotten away with everything he has gotten away with. What is it about this guy? Who or what is protecting him?
I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I have come up with 3 possibilities:
The U.S. Constitution was built on sand.
Donald Trump made a deal with the devil.
He has a birthmark on his anus.
The third option is the one that makes the most sense to me. Indulge me while I take a detour and elaborate on the cultural nuances of language…
I work with two languages all the time. Everything I do in my work is bilingual and because I am who I am, also bicultural. From this vantage point, I can tell you that some things, like proverbs, dichos and idiomatic expressions, just cannot be explained going from one language to another. Somethings, like the belief that Donald Trump has a birthmark on his butt, is one of those things that don’t translate, but let me try to explain, as we need all the insight we can get.
I have a Filipino friend and he carries with him generations of Tagalog wisdom, dichos, and beliefs that may not translate. I am going to give it a try because when he told me about this, I totally got it, and I don’t speak Tagalog.
He shared with me that his mother, a wise woman of an uncertain age, declared that the only explanation for why Donald Trump may never suffer misfortune or receive punishment for his crimes is that he has a birthmark on his anus. (On or In, I am not really sure.) Apparently, it is an old Filipino belief that if you have a birthmark where the sun don’t shine, to spin it mildly, you are lucky beyond your wildest dreams.
You will get away with everything. Nothing bad will happen to you.
This particular location of a birthmark is the sign of perpetual and eternal good luck.
You can sexually assault women, cheat on your taxes, cage children, kill hundreds of thousands of people because of your narcissistic neglect of others. You can catch and release COVID19 and remain unscathed. Hell, you could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and get away with it!
And it’s all because you’ve got a birthmark where the sun don’t shine.
Trouble is, there are only a handful of people who could confirm this.
Should we ask Lindsey Graham?
Conchita de Luto was born in Superior, Arizona and immigrated to Sonora, Mexico at a young age. Because she had been born in the U.S., she came back to attend Sarah Lawrence in 1969. But after completing her studies, she found it difficult to settle in the eastern United States and went back to Cananea, Sonora, married her high school sweetheart and lived with him for 30 years until his death in 2002. De Luto lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico with her 3 dogs, Chuy, Fernando and Alfredo. She is at work on her memoirs.