I was very struck my this thought from Mia Mingus:
“With disability justice, we want to move away from the “myth of independence,” that everyone can and should be able to do everything on their own. I am not fighting for independence, as much of the disability rights movement rallies behind. I am fighting for an interdependence that embraces need and tells the truth: no one does it on their own and the myth of independence is just that, a myth.”
I was just out in my vegetable garden. It is a raised bed, to my waist. I don’t have to bend over. It was designed and installed by several millennials–family members and a neighbor. Part was a gift, part was paid for, all was received with gratitude. It has a great hoop shade design. And now more lemon cucumbers than one household can eat.
My parents had a rugged individualistic attitude towards life. They often rejected help from their own children, and certainly never depended upon friends or neighbors. I found this attitude exhausting.
Many years ago, when I was suddenly widowed and was raising a six year old child, I realized abruptly that although I tended to see myself as the giver I was now about to start taking–maybe without an end in sight. People did some amazing things for me–my pride was easily overcome by my admiration for both their caring and inventiveness (Who knew I needed a large homemade raspberry cheese cake? Or to have my daughter taken for a camel ride? Not me).
In terms of disability, although I’m grateful to the movement for existing I can’t identify completely. Abortion on demand and death with dignity are things I firmly believe in, and the disability movement often opposes these. I’m not about to debate these issues here, just to say they are the backbone of my social beliefs that I’m not interested in modifying. I try to show respect for other beliefs, and hope that feeling is mutual.
That said, I truly appreciate Mingus’s thought we don’t have to strive to be totally self-reliant. This isn’t just about disability, it applies to community, artistic endeavor, and more. Anthropological thinking suggests we need a group of 40-150 people just to survive. And maybe twice that to find unrelated mates. There is a mystical Jewish belief that we reincarnate in groups the size of a small village. I’m always looking to recognize my soul mates so I don’t have to go it alone.