More Responses To–What beliefs did you have about yourself that have now changed?

Janet Snyder Asher I always felt that I “can’t do it”. I was never encouraged to try, even if I might fail. Now at 65 I try my best and definitely sometimes fail! And it’s more than OK!!!!
Miriam Sagan Can you say more about what “it” might be?

Janet Snyder Asher Anything I was afraid of. I learned early on not to take risks. I believe that after my divorce I started living again. I met a man who I eventually married and he had so much confidence in me! I took a Swiftwater rescue class and became a river guide at 42! That’s just one example of something I never knew I could do.

Karla Linn Merrifield I always thought I wasn’t very musical, especially after 8 years of piano lessons that terrified me. Yes, I could play a modest Chopin and a few hymns, and I learned to read music, but what a fumbler I was. Now 50 years later I’ve picked up the guitar and a month later I’m feeling it happen. I can make music

Laurie Tumer I’m 68. I didn’t believe (as a girl growing up in the 50’s) that it was possible for a girl to be be an architect or doctor or geologist or or fireman or artist or musician or conductor or builder or even college graduate. Only boys were smart enough for that. I believed I was only capable of being a wife and mother as that is what I was told was my fate When I eventually studied music at the University of Arizona I loved my conducting classes and wanted to be a conductor, but the professor said: Do you see any women conductors? So I didn’t believe I it was possible to do that. So I changed majors and became a teacher because that was something girls were encouraged to do back then. I don’t regret being a teacher all these years. And I have gone on to an artist and a builder and a gardener and to fulfill many dreams and live happily ever after without a husband or children. I often hear in my head when I complete a project my father’s refrain when I’d do something that surprised him that he didn’t think I was capable of: “Not bad for a little girl!” A phrase he used up until he died when I was 35. Times have change in the U.S. for girls, though not for girls all over the world… I believe that will change too one day.

Teresa Fields I was raised to be a wife and mother. When I was in 2nd grade the teacher would hit me on top of my head with her wad of keys and call me a dumb Indian. I believed I could not do math. Then in high school my counselor told me I wasn’t College material.
After being married over 31 yrs and suddenly being widowed. I went to College, I got an ‘A,’ in College Algebra. I had a 3.99 gpa for my AA degree and almost the same for my BFA.

Pat Crow knows how to bring calm from chaos. And she tells us how!

Pat Crow knows how to bring calm from chaos. Her native spirit name is “You Have Center Tail Feather Sacred Woman”. The interpretation of that is that when a bird in flight wants to stabilize itself, it uses it’s tail feathers as a rudder, so to speak. Her name reflects her ability to “surf” through chaos as if on a bird’s tail feather to being stability and calm to others. How does she do it? I asked her a few questions:

1. Did you learn this or was it natural?
2. What are the necessary steps involved?
3. Any advice for others? Warnings or hints?

Here is her response:
1.  I believe I learned this behavior, and then it became natural.  I have a propensity for seeing the big picture and recognizing what needs to happen to calm a situation or people.  I have a laser focus that understands what needs to happen without getting caught up in the swirl.

2.  First, gather your wits about you.  Chaos doesn’t necessarily perpetuate unless it is fed or left to its own devices.
     Second, break the existing pattern in order to make changes.
     Third, replace the pattern with a sustainable and more stable one.
     Fourth, follow through.
     Fifth, follow up.

3.  Being a change agent has its rewards, and yet folks often resist change.  They like keeping their familiar patterns, they’re more comfortable than new ones.   Don’t expect accolades.  Just do the job and know you did your best. Perhaps later you will see the benefit of your efforts.