Birds dream, you tell me
unfolding the story of how
their feathers, one layer at a time
stand up then lie down
first this way, then that
to create a baffle of warmth
for their bodies
preparing for sleep.
Their breathing slows
and you mimic the pulse of it
with a squeeze on my arm
soft, fainter, barely there,
and then…
they might startle –
open their eyes
tilt their heads
but eventually they
nestle into their own down.
Their knowing feet, in the last
effort of this preparation
curl like a lover’s
around the branch
holding on for dear life
so the rest of their body
can quiet.
But the dreaming…
Oh…right…
Small noises escape
their throats,
eyes flutter…
they murmur to the night
to the ambient light of stars
What do they dream?
…breath along the body
every side, a swell of breath
entering the bones and lifting
lifting
You see? Your own wings
unfold giving rise to the
night’s warmth, loving
the idea of flying.
II.
Close your eyes.
Quick!
What animal do you see?
I see birds, flocks of birds,
hundreds, thousands of birds
You?
I see a giraffe.
Do it again
Quick! What this time?
Fish, schools of fish
hundreds, thousands of fish.
There are so many fish to see.
You?
I see a rhinoceros.
You are on the Serengeti Plains,
I am in the wind and the water.
III
A hummingbird flew into your window and died. Its small neon body was a third the size of my palm and soft as a rabbit’s tail. Where did it go? you ask like a child. Is that all there is?
We walked the hill behind your house, laid it down amidst juniper and white quartz. You want to be buried like that, but with a fanfare of fireworks proclaiming your departure.
One day I might scent your body with cedar, oil every bit of you; your skin soft against my palms, lay you down in a quarry of earth and as the sky lights up, wonder if that is all there is.
IV
Close your eyes. Quick!
What does your mad happiness look like?
V
Two days later another one:
Death by disillusionment,
believing the window was open sky.
Its tongue, the slenderest of stamens, protruded
from its narrow grass-like beak
You spread its wings, no bigger than a moth’s.
You move the feeder farther from the house.
We buried it the same way –
A nest of earth, cedar and quartz
this time near a small patch of yellow wildflowers.
No more, you say, brushing the dust from your hands.
VI
The next death is ours –
death by dismemberment.
First the eyes, then the ears,
the tongue is removed (no more need
to seek nectar),
speech and touch wither,
the ego bows out and
the sharp cage of bones collapses
inward around the heart.
Next the dreams go,
dreams of Paris,
of blue and purple embroidered dresses
salty dreams, a dream of a kayak is
dissected from a summer lake,
a bed in Mexico that hangs from the ceiling
and rocks like a cradle, falls.
The stars and the sun and the moon
retreat, slowly become smaller
as if seen through the wrong
end of a telescope, before they leave forever.
The sky folds in on itself.
With no sky, there are no birds
and no dreams of birds and no
birds dreaming.
No breath.
Is this all there ever was?
***
“Green Chair” by Merry Cox. For more by this wonderful artist–www.merrycox.com